AntoineRJWright.com

Check out Rizen Music's website. Kevin Arthur is a friend of mine who is head of that that production company. They have an artist named Badia who has a unique sound as well. Check it out. I may even be redoing their website, so keep me in prayer for that one.Read More

I guess that this is as good a time as any to update the site. I havnet been feeling very well lately. Part of that is becasue I no longer have a Palm PDA. There is not much excitement going on in that respect. I miss being organized with the Palm. It is a differnet state of mind. Honestly, I see why people don't like palms, and at the same time, I know why many more people do. Shoot, all the people that I have turned onto palms all seem to enjoy them.

The other reason that I am not feeling so well is because I am still in Philly. Great city. But just not for me. I am tired of it. Tired of the crime, tired of churches on every corner and little ones in between. I am no at all enthralled about much in this city. If you will, it has run its course on me and I am more than ready to leave. Of course, the same thing that keeps me from getting a new palm also prevcents me from moving. Therefore, I am here.

Let's see. Many blessings to all my arms friends who are in Iraq, or have come back from there. God bless you on being on the front lines. Me, I am a tich too angry at most government agencies to want to serve anything in the armed forces.

Check out the website rizenmusic.com. Great men of God producing some great music there. When I can get some spare funds, I will be getting some new music.

What else is here to say...
Nothing much really. It is near 4am and I just am too blah feeling to go to bed. At least I have this weekend to look forward to. One year with my love. That much has been something positive that I can enjoy thinking about.

With that one Ima get to bed. No need squelching that nice thought. Peace and blessings.Read More

I have been sitting on a question all week and wanted to post here to get an idea of what all of you think. Acts 1:8 tells us that it is the power of the Holy Spirit that enables us to go to the ends of the earth and be witnesses to the gospel of Jesus. My question is simply, how have you been encouraged by the Spirit to use Palm Bible+ or any other PDA/PC software to be that witness?

My main reason for asking this question is because I am without a PDA now and therefore cannot call upon all of the resources for Bible+ that I have gathered when going out and being questioned. I would love to have a new Palm. But besides the lack of funds, I do not want to have a lack of focused vision in using a PDA again. I want to use my PDA to positively effect my friends, family, and country for God's glory. But until I get that new PDA (a T5 would be great as that would meet all of my needs), I am evaluating my usage. So what do you say...

How have you been encouraged by the Spirit to use Bible+ to be a witness to the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8, Matt 28:18-20)?

Thanks in advance to all who choose to read and/or reply.Read More

Please bear with me, as this may take a while...

I spent the day with my mom helping her to look for a car. As we went to differnt dealerships, and even in the morning before while I was at her job, I had this persistent thought that I had the opportunity in this life to show my mom that she deserved to get what she wanted in a car. Of course, this was not without me making a not-so-well-received suggestion on a PT Cruiser. So the car met all of her needs, except the need for a real trunk and a floaty ride. So I went back to the net looking for a car that might work. Trying to leverage budget and feature options, I looked to find the best model. Because of her requirements, finding the perfect model seemed nearly impossible. But that is what I wanted for her. You see, my mom has lived her life submitting to the conditions of life, not getting the benefits out of it.

After coming home, I flicked thru the channels and watched my usual Wednesday run of Smallville and Kevin Hill. In Smallville, acceptance was the item most wanted. A kid, we will call him Flash since I forgot his name, was differnt and wanted to be accepted. So instead of using his powers of super speed to help, he sought to get for himself what he could by stealing. Needless to say, he learned thru Clark Kent that there are some people that he could trust. In Kevin Hill, Kevin was looking for a preschool for his adopted daughter and looked to put her into the best preschool that he could find. He went to the most famous school that he could find. Only to find out that the most expensive is not the best. What is best sometimes is what is simplest.

So my point:
I guess it is that I want to get what they want out of life. I see my mom, a woman who wants a Volvo and I want that for her. I want her to have that rancher and me and my sis well off so that she can retire in peace. I want to see people get what they want, and not have to settle. I want to see kids reach their potential and adults retire to a good place and not just the cheap and "it will do place." I have a burning desire to see people get what they want. And at the same, I have even more of a desire to see people reach their goals and dreams. It isn't enough for people to just make it. For my mom to just have a car isn't my idea of making it. She is getting near retirement, why not have the Volvo that she has dreamed of for 25 years. That had to be put on hold when I showed up 25 years ago. Why does life dictate how goals happen? Shouldn't that be the other way around.

I feel that for too long, people have operated more out of I will live to what life has given me, and not towards what I will give life. Yes, it is true that we cannot order our lives no more than we can order the weather. We can have expectations and dreams and press towards them. Maybe I am sounding too much like a Charasmatic preacher, or a college professor, but I do believe that somewhere in God's heart for His children, that he does want us to dream, and attain some of our dreams. I think that a parent seeing their child achieve what they hoped for only blesses the parent more. Something to think about while you order your next few years. Peace and blessings.Read More

I was just on the phone with a friend of mine, and it happened that she asked me if I would be interested in purchasing from her web store. This is a good friend of mine and so all I said was to send me a catalogue and then I would make a decsion as to whether to use her store or not for this holiday season. Nothing strange about this, except that since I have left school in December 2002, there have been many people that I know that have been starting web stores and selling things. Sounds like the economy is doing well for them right? For me, I am still looking for work and trying to use my gifts to bless those around me.

Why do I make mention of this? Well, I will not mention the group by which she, or others, have come to me and ask to join. You add some of your money and then attend some meetings here and there, you sell a product, and after a while you train others to sell that product as well. For each person that you train, you would earn a percentage of profit based from what they earned. Now, imagine this going down and down until now you are the one that is asked to create your own store. You would then train people to sell your product, and they would train others. Over the course of a few years, add the spice of diligence of course, and you will earn a pretty penny.

It sounds like a good way to make a buck or two. For me, I have had an unusual uneasiness towards this type of business practice. Mainly because in this time where the US is facing some nasty economics, it seem that these types of groups are all over the place. Now, I know that they have been around in some shape or form for a while, everyone with a 1980s memory can remember Amway. But it seems that this country is now moved towards the state where get rich quick is no longer the thing, but get rich by someone else's work is the thing. I just do not like it. My insides quiver whenever I hear the names of these groups, or even friends of mine who are in them and want me to join.

I ask if this is a state of our times. Has this country gotten away from making a hard earned buck? Have we been lied to and taxed so much that all that is left for us to do is take from each other? I look at my life and how I really do not have much. What I need is all in God's hands. Yet, if I am believing that God has supplied all of my needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus, why am I waiting on man to increase me when he works. Jobs move overseas and people over here benefit from another's hands being put to the earth. The Word was very clear that we have to work the earth for ourselves and reap from it. It is a curse. But now it seems in these times that people are trying to bypass the curse with clever marketing. Personally, I cannot be a part of that state of mind. That is against the plan of God for my life.Read More

Every thought to be positive is met opposite
Each day that brings joy is met by weeks of sorrow
Banter that provided peace is not sarcasm
And no other talk merits any blessings
Yet I still am persuaded that this is my trial
That this is the road that I have to travel
Each day brings a sunrise never before warmed
And the afternoon rain soothing and disruptive
My knees told me that this weather would come
And yet I planned to enjoy the day that I was given
No matter which thought would oppose me this day
I would make the effort to see the end of each thought

Apparently this is not the end of my spew
Nights sat alone left me thoughts of the past that would brew
The fears conveyed by my heart intended to prove
That I was no longer his chosen
That I had no faith yet much more work to do
This was not my plan this night or any other
That I would be betrayed by my own thoughts of another
That I would remain intent on moving past each and ever cover
And yet the night I am left with a dial tone
The remarks bind to me forever like a blood brother
Every thought that was positive is now turning defeated
Each mention of praise is echoed once then never heeded
This moment I had waited to see many weeks has now proceeded
And yet the dial tone dials my fingers
And all praise has been stood up to be seated
This is my journey on this Saturday night fever
Looking and planning once more to make a meeting of a leader
The act of an achiever
Stand forth an proclaim the truth of God’s word
And in the mist of the world I appear defeated
I am just the opposite of this world’s positive bend
My thoughts now reality’s course to make amends
There is one node of truth to this end
My heart and spirit agree
That this fight ain't over till God says when.

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There is a PDA for sale for any who may be interested. BargainPDA is selling the PDA that I reviewed a few weeks ago, the HP iPaq rx3715. If you are looking to get a Windows Mobile handheld computer, check out the eBay auction here. Check it out if you are interested.Read More

I am just getting off of an extended weekend with my ladi, Kyera. I am kinda sad that she isnt here as I really enjoyed all of the time that we spent together this weekend. We didnt go anywhere special, except a new church in West Oak Lane. But, we did rest together and just have some good quality time. I can see that she and I have grown together a good deal. I am glad that I have the opportunity to have a friend like Ms. Kyera. She really does make life pretty pleasing for me.

Well, the real reason that I came on here, beside chatting about me ladi, was to just spew about not having the Palm I want. I keep reading about and seeing it online but I do not have the means to get it. I do like the idea of being organized and having information at my fingertips. But that is something that has had to slow to a halt without a PDA. Sounds like I cannot live without it, and that is somewhat true. I was not a very organized person when I didnt have one. I had notes everywhere and for everything. Maybe I will get a new one to replace my old broken one. I dont know. If I dont, then I will just have to get along without it. Then I can stay online writing more articles about using a PDA without owning one :D

Many blessings to Trev and Toia. Trev is active duty and Toia is his new wife. They have not had much time together and I know that they miss each other. Keep them in prayers. My other army friend, Rashida, is supposed to be coming home from Iraq soon, so that is most def a praise report.

Other than that, Ima be chillin and eat some puddin'. Nite.Read More

This land that I live is a strange place
Seas on either end to hold opinions in place
Mountains in between behold much grace
And people stand near them feeling never out of place
This land that I live is a weird land
I could walk where I want to
Unless I had a colored hand
I could talk the way I want to
As long as I don't offend the Man
I can dream all the best
And walk according to God's plan
Though I better not let faith come out
Else be on trial for a disturbance
This land that I live gives me a strange feel
People are more concerned about races
Yet out of shape is all we feel
Have a holiday to celebrate every man who ever won
Yet only slander jokes about those who were here before us
This land that I live has many weird folks
Some talk with a slang
While others remain the butt of jokes
One gender is revered
One gender is awed
Both genders have a problem when faith meets under the law
A child now conceived has a small chance to live
While my country weeps over trees burned in the land that I live
Our leaders are most famous
And by corruption most infamous
Yet we only see them when the media thinks best for us
This land that I live was once so large to me
Now wireless phones lines stretch from here to infinity
Or at least as far as my bill will allow
In this country that I live we advance as far as our money knows how
The strangest thing about this land that I live
Where elected officials debate on promises yet unfulfilled
Is that there is no other place right now for me
You see I admire that I haven't taken advantage of this opportunity
I haven't taken the chance to allow kids to stand up
Vote for an elected official
Pick up the boards and drop the looks tuff
I haven’t taken the chance to give a mother a chance
Shoot I haven’t taken a chance to allow the fathers to dance
I gave all my energy to keeping with the Joneses
While old Mrs. Green suffers from the loss of her bones
I still haven’t taken chance to remember in full my history
I was too concerned with celebrating months whom I never did see
But even in all of the chances not taken
I am glad that my life my country hasn’t forsaken
Even if taxes and death really are their only point
In this country that I live
Living free feels like dying in a joint
In this land that I live I share that I like it here
Even though this land that I live
Looks best from those over there
People from other lands succeed where I tear
Yet I hold no resentment
They just reached the dream that I once reared
They shake their heads and wonder
Why with all of this I haven’t made it thru my way
But that is just the way things are
In this country that I live on this day

This Land That I Live

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Each day that passes takes me further from you
The warmth of your hands when you ushered me
The tone of your voice when you comforted me
And yet I keep reading your letters
And I keep hearing your voice
You say that you will come soon
And yet that day is so far away
So this night I go to sleep
Awaiting that time when I would see you again

The next day has approached unto me
And the story is the same
You leave me new vocals
You take me peacefully with new letters
How long still until you come I ask
Soon you reply with a twinkle in speech
I would be waiting anxiously once again
And filling my day with thoughts of you
And this night I go to sleep
I expect to be that last I sleep without you
For soon you will come to me
And love will manifest itself complete.

Anticipation

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Before I sign off to bed this early morning, I want to write a taste. Please enjoy.

Walked past me the other day
The air was crisp
Yet you did not tell me in words
You left fog over my eyelids
And I was left to braze the cold alone
Temporary wardrobes you would claim to have
Appearing on cars, in rooms
You would show me at my best gaze
And I would enjoy the attention
When others would come around
You would share the spotlight
Only if it included you
You never spoke a word though
Even when my anger went through your static image
You showed more of yourself then
And the message was very much made clear
For me to like you
I would have to accept myself
So you even shared that tear
And I walked away from you
For days I did not want to realize that you knew the truth
That my best friend
That my worst enemy
Is the person you most reflect.
And as usual
That person is me.
Mirror
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Something to think about for today:
This morning, I woke up a bit earlier than I usually do. I had only slept for about four hours and so I woke up at about 7:30 or 8am and went into the living room to check on some discussions that I had been involved with before I went to sleep. I turned on the TV to see what was on and as I flipped through the channels, I landed on one channel that had many Christian broadcasts. I think that the tele is a great medium to use in spreading the truth of the Word of God to the people in the world who already know about God. As I sat on the computer and responded to the threads, I kept the TV on that station to listen to what was being said. It is now quarter to 11 and I have heard many pastors/teachers speak on different aspects of the Word of God. They talked about being organized, having a better prayer life, and overcoming the trials of their lives. For the most part it was very encouraging. But I had to ask myself something as I noticed the advertisements and the people in the audience as the camera panned: is this what Jesus intended us to do when He said to go unto all the world, or are we showing just what we want others to see about being a Christian?

This weekend, I went to the church of a pastor friend of mine. He was part of a larger church, but left that church due to some differences with the senior pastor. He spoke a very stern and heartfelt message yesterday about the point of salvation. He asked if it was the point of being a Christian to go to church and be involved in many different programs; to chat and fellowship with other Christians; and to use our gifts to magnify the church. He asked if that was the real point of what we are to live. He then said something that confirmed what I had heard in prayer some weeks ago: "You are a tool, and the point of a tool is to build the building. The focus is not on the tool, but the completion of the building depends on the tool being available to be used." In other words, that this life is not about me, but it depends on me if God is to get his people. The pastor said the same thing and asked the church why there aren't more visitors in the church. He wanted to know what it is that people are doing with their salvation if they are not leading other people (by word or example) to see Jesus. It was something that made me think as I watched the programs this morning.

To me, it seems that the point of many of the churches was to shine your light for the approval of those that already knew God. For those that had different giftings, they were to use it to build the church. I am not saying that that is wrong, but that there should be some measure of that gift available to use towards those that do not know, or have rejected God. While I am online writing about PDAs and computer technology, I always ask myself, am I leaving a door open for someone to see the light of God within my life. I do not want to push Christ on people, but by my words and the way that I respond to questions, am I making it possible for my gift to move out of the way so that the Spirit of God may lead someone towards Him. I cannot say that I am always successful in that. I do not know how many people visit my website, or read postings, or whatever. There is an analogy that says one has a full bucket of water; they hand empty buckets out to others; and then throw their water out towards those with empty buckets. Some water gets there, some is spilled. I have to believe that some of the water that I throw out there gets there. I ask if the church programs, and even other Christians, do and feel the same way. I don't want to appear to be a "Christian" (meaning just associated with the faith). I want to be a Christian (one who lives in Christ - eg. American is one who lives in America). I hope that someone who reads this would ask themselves the same question. It is important to know who you are these days. Peace and blessings.

EDIT: Please do not take this as me trying to sound like I do things right and others are wrong. This is simply an observation and part of my morning devotions. I am sorry if I have offended any. I do reserve the right to ask what I may, as this is my website, but I do not mean to lead anyone into an area where they might question their faith to the point of leaving it.Read More

We wrote this together, more as a parting thought, but it is prose as well.

Oh where, oh where is my cuddle buddy?
O're here, o're here
He's too far away to feel the warmth of my heart off in the distance...
Pshhhh. Yea whatever...i got feeling memory...
and my memory feels you just fine....though the real u would be a better present
So, love is just a memory and not a feeling says he in attempts to calm the quiet of the night. For this day, yes it will just be a living memory, but one day near this memory will apear as life before mine own eyes.
He says...the memories of love have to last longer than the feeling else love absent feels cold and alone
Yes, indeed what is said is most positivly true...
...for if he could live with that love it would be as a present, and eyes would behold the appearance of lonliness gone, an appearance made true by his heart no longer in memory
And, that intimate mystery would be mirrored before his eyes as memeories take the stage of present reality once again.
As only an angel can reply, my love is only as close as the faith i have...the love i long for is so close, yet my skin feels in faith, using memories legs as the means to step into the gift yet cherished
And with this courting she says, "Adeu my love, adeu..."
Adeu angel

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Job 32-37 Elihu, Job, and Character

I have been reading and meditating on this scriptre for most of the week this week. It started when I was in church on Sunday and as the main push of his message, the pastor went thru the whole book of Job. Most people understand that Job was a man who was plagued by the devil, guiled by his friends and wife, and ultimately had to confront God as to who he really was. While we went thru the book of Job, I managed to get stuck on the section of the book when Elihu stepped into the picture. You see, it intrigued me in part because I had not read Job in a long time. Also, there was something there that just complelled me to stay there and find out what was it that Elihu wanted Job to know so badily.

As I began to diver into the text, I was presented again with a parallel of my life now, with that of Job. In no way did I have all that he had, nor was I as well off. I was comfortable for a while. Then I graduated from college and decided to keep pushing on my growth in God despite not having the haven of college campus ministries to protect and bubble me. I slowly began to slide. Not in the sense of backsliding. In the sense of sliding into a mindset that I could "push" my reality around and that God would bless me in that. Needless to say, after this Sunday, I realize how wrong I have been in doing so.

The last verses of chapter 37 really stick with me:
Touching the Almighty, we cannot find him out: he is excellent in power, and in judgment, and in plenty of justice: he will not afflict. Men do therefore fear him: he respecteth not any that are wise of heart.

You see. I am reading this book trying to figure out what it is what God had been saying to Job in order to get some kind of grasp as to what has been said to me. to that end, I kept reading and reading. I have been reading this all week and just still, I am on the same verse. Tonite, while talking to Kyera, she opened up something to me that I had only considered in my weakest of thoughts. She said, could it be that God had to incapacitate me before I would get to the point where my heart could hear him. She then asked me to allow God to be the one who is in control and not to push ahead of Him. I hear her words, I just do not know how to do so.

God has the right to do whatever to whomever whenever He pleases. There are times when I do not like the hand that I have been dealt. Sometimes, I do not like the way that I played with the cards that I have been given. But God has designed me, he has moved me, so that I would have all the evidence that I need of His hand on my life. He has also designed me to not be afraid to say that I do not know anything past the tip of my nose, and even that gets fuzzy. For a very long time, I have been vain towards the Hand and Power of God. I do not want to get to the point where God has to speak to me in a whirlwind before I listen. I would like to get the point now so that my health may spring new in Him. But this life is not about what I want. The point is pleasing an everloving God. I am only a tool, and not meant to get the glory. But this mission depends on me. If I do not come to bat when I am called into that which He calls my legacy, then I will lose. I do not like losing. I do like winning when there is a sure thing. Please keep me in your prayers as I continue to walk this out the more.Read More

To my friends who keep coming here and wanting to see me write something new, I apologize that I have not been on here. I have been having some issues with getting to the site lately and saying whassup, so I will take that time to do that now.

Point 1: The Presidential Debats
I am not one who favors either Kerry or Bush. Both canidates have shown strengths and weakenesses. In this debate, however, Kerry was much more polished and actually answered questions. Sometimes, it seemed that Bush wanted to push the point of being agressive, but when you are speaking defensively about being offensive, you sound like you lost the point of what you are defending. Both made good points on wanting to confront the issue of terrorism, I do agree with Kerry's assessment that there should have been a better plan in going to war. War shuold have been an option, just a planned one where the other countries of the world, especially those in the Middle East, would have a larger push. Bush seemed bent on making the point that freedom is a priority. The problem is that most Americans may still be confused as to "who" we are fighting. Not "what" we are fighting. It will be interesting to see the other debates as they will be very interesting. I would hope that Mr. Kerry stays honest, because now more than ever, his words will have to line up with his actions.

Point 2: The Weather is Colder
What is it about fall and the weather getting all cold at night. It used to be that I would be up late with the door open enjoying no breeze, or a warm breeze. Now, I have a jacket on cause the breeze ain't so cold. Lord, can I have your permission to move to NC now so that I can be a touch warmer. To all of my friends in NC, I miss that weather down there. Keep the hurricans, but give me the warmth.

Point 3: Job, Elihu, and my character (Job 32-37)
I have been reading and re-reading a section of the book of Job and have been questioning my character, analyizing my heart, and just learning to stop being in control. More about that another time. I am on the phone with my sweetie. Many blessings to all of you.Read More